Most people thought F1 would be better without electronic drivers aids, indeed most drivers welcomed the change, saying that the cars were more interesting, but I don't think anyone realised the full extent of the chaos which would result when they actually raced gizmo free!

In Qualifying the cars looked noticeably "livelier" than before - entering the corners too fast plus general purpose sliding, twitching and lurching about. Here it looked like the removal of computer-controlled engine braking was having the biggest effect. Anyone who has been to national racing has seen what happens if you just konk an F1-engined single-seater down a cog - the rear wheels lock up (not that most drivers do that, it's just that one or two seem to specialize in it). In F1 until now the computers were playing with the throttle to stop engine braking from locking the rear wheels, plus loads of other clever stuff to keep the shebang on the road.

Once the car arrived at the apex we are led to believe that the next input by organic part of the control and management system was to stand on the right hand pedal. Those of us with traction control on our road cars know what happens next. There's a slight stutter from the engine then we accelerate smoothly and safely away. The stutter is the very clever inorganic part of the system modulating the throttle, plus there may have been a bit of diff-adjusting and brake-tweaking going on.

Of course we've all had a go at turning the thing off to see what happens. If you're lucky the consequences are only unpleasant for whoever does your laundry. However there are regular reports of what happens when it does get serious, many of them involving footballers, Ferraris and innocent scenery. I've only tried it in the Lexus once and now the ASR stays firmly on. If it's way too exciting in a limo weighing 1910kg and 278bhp one can begin to imagine what it's like in an F1 car with one third the weight and three times the horsepower!

And then there's the start..... F1 engines have everything reduced to the bare minimum so that it will just last two races before falling apart. This is so that an engine with 300cc cylinders can rev to 19,000 rpm; granted your BSA Gold Star is 350cc, but even so it wouldn't have got anywhere near that even with a new set of points. Lightweight rotating and reciprocating parts also mean that F1 engines have very low inertia. This is generally a good thing as it means that they accelerate faster and also make the car more responsive - yes, engine inertia does affect the handling.

The downside is that this makes them easy to stall. Electronics now stop this happening, but if a driver pops the clutch with too few revs the car will bog down. At the other extreme, too many revs means that the car just sits there in a cloud of tyre smoke. On the F1 grid there will be drivers doing both of those things. Also there will have been those who get the revs just right, modulate the throttle to minimize wheelspin and rocket away - straight up the chuff of one of the aforementioned group. F1 cars go from nought to a zillion miles an hour in about 12 feet.....

Next we have to consider that a carbon clutch's characteristics vary with the amount of heat that's gone through it. Then we get onto the fact that once F1 cars go sideways the aero is affected, then there's the stupid wooden grooved tyres, none of which help controllability. Finally, if your driver hasn't retired through crashing, consider the mechanical reliability issue. Until this season all of these exquisitely crafted, strong yet delicate mechanical systems had all sorts of unemotional artificial intelligence looking after then. Now they are back at the tender mercy of egotistical, testosterone-crazed first cousins of chimpanzees. Just imagine what would happen if they made them change gear as well!

The net effect of all this was that 22 cars started the Australian GP and seven finished it. Not all of the retirements were due to the removal of electronic aids, but the majority of them were. The driver least affected by all it was one who made his F1 debut exactly a year ago. Lewis Hamilton was the absolute master of the situation, qualifying on pole and cruising to an untroubled win. In-car it looked like he was still driving a car with all the gizmos, such was its stability and the smoothness of his inputs.

More worrying was that it looked like his new team mate Heikki Kovalainen was set fair for second place until he fell foul of a Safety Car period. He eventually came home fifth, losing fourth to Alonso when he accidentally hit the pit-lane speed limiter on the straightaway! Even more worrying was that Macca didn't just set the fastest lap (Kovy) but the best 11. Fazza's best was Raikkonen, down in 19th, half a second off.

The Ferrari drivers looked to be amongst the worst affected by the rules change. Kimi had a fuel pump failure in Q2 and started from 16th on the grid. He rocketed through the field, making his way as high as third before being duped by Kovalainen into diving up the inside of his fellow Finn, arriving at the corner far too fast with a resulting trip across the gravel. Later he popped an outside rear wheel onto the grass and spun. A few laps from the end his engine went sick and he retired. He was eventually awarded one point for eighth after Barrichello was disqualified for the Honda team breaking just about every rule and Health & Safety regulation to do with re-fueling short of actually lighting up a fag.

Felipe Massa qualified fourth and spun at the start by excessive application of the right hand pedal. He later caused an SC after tangling with Coolthud. Dave wasn't crazy about this - he was mad, though it looked like a straightforward racing incident to everyone else. I do wish he'd go away. Massa retired shortly after when his engine stopped. Of the other Ferrari interest, Toro Rosso did very well. Sebastian Vettel got through to Q3 but was eliminated in a first lap incident. Team mate and F1 debutant Sebastien Bourdais was one of the heroes of the race being set for fourth before his engine packed up - this made it three Ferrari engines to go bang over the course of the race. Neither of the Ferrari-powered Force India cars finished.

BMW-Sauber's performance totally belied their winter testing form. Robert Kubica qualified second and would have been on pole except for a fair-sized off. However he was carrying less fuel than anyone. He retired when Nakajima crashed into the back of him. Nick Heidfeld finished second for BMW, with Nico Rosberg finishing third for Williams - his first podium. Once Nakajima pitted for a new nose and finished seventh, later elevated to sixth when Rubens was booted out.

Honda had made a big step forward in final, private, winter testing. Rubens qualified 11th and Jenson 13th. It now seems that the aero bits have the effect on the car on the track that the wind tunnel says they should. Toyota also found a big improvement with Trulli Q6 and Timo Glock Q9. Trulli retired with a hot bott - the result of an overheating battery. Glock had a difficult return to F1. He slipped off the road and an escape road kerb launched the car into the air. When it landed most of the wheels and lots of other bit flew off, then it skittered down the road before grinding to a halt. Glock sat still in the car for some time, which is always worrying, but happily he seems to have escaped unscathed.

Fernando Alonso had a difficult return to Renault. He didn't make it through to Q3, starting 12th. He finished fourth, but retirements and his fighting performance flattered the car. His weekend was much better than new team-mate Nelson Piquet Jnr. who qualified last but one and retired, so mabe Kovy wasn't so bad Flav!

An interesting weekend, if difficult to follow because of the chaos. The banning of driver aids hasn't half livened things up! As for Ferrari, I'm going to try to do what new Ferrari Team Principal Stefano Domenicali says and stay calm, though the serenity of Team McLaren and ragged performance of Scuderia Ferrari was worrying. We'll see what happens next weekend in Malaysia.

Click here to return to the Ferrari Happenings page.

 

 

 

Chaos ensued soon after the start

Kimi's first off road excursion of the day

Felipe punts Coulhard off...

...causing one of three Safety Car periods

Kimi gets a push home after his engine stopped

Sebastian Bourdais' Ferrari engine let go too but he still collected two points

Great results for Rosberg and Heidfeld. Positions were reversed at the flag

Lewis was imperious

New look podium

Ross was observing at Honda, not directing

Domenicali urges calm

Click for FIA lap chart

Meanwhile...

Anthony Hamilton wonders who the heck this is

Etihad Airways, the United Arab Emirates national airline, is Scuderia Ferrari's latest sponsor

pics by Ferrari Media, FIA, Reuters, XPB, LAT, Sutton & YouTube